I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
my liver is dry heaving
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
