Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
