i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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