I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
