the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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