you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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