i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Randomize
