Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
