He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Randomize
