I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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