I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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