I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
She said her name was "party"
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
He passed out mid-signature
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
