lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
