Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
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