Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Randomize
