btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
