There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
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