i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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