Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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