fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Say something about gay babies.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Randomize
