Kareoke will never be a sober sport
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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