Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
