She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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