I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
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