dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
it's like heaven, but drunker
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
