making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
