i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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