How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
