So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
