My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
