Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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