rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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