Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
