So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Randomize
