There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Randomize
