I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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