No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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