I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
