I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
