My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
