So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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