he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Randomize
