We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
