Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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