if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
