ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
