and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
