I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
