i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I think my moral compass just broke
Randomize
