put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
This baby is an asshole
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize