I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
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