I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
