Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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