1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
