went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize