That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Randomize
