Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
