It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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