i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
It's just like the Real World with babies
Sacagawea was the original milf.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Randomize
